Flip Flop Followers

Summertime and the footwear is easy.  Flip flops are standard issue for beach days and city sidewalks alike.  They are everywhere.

In our gospel reading today (Matthew 16:21–28 for those of you reading my blog), Peter is again front and centre.  Three weeks ago, he sank like a stone in front of Jesus and all his friends.  Last week he became the foundational rock for building a new community of love.  This week he becomes a boulder attempting to trip Jesus up.  What a major flip flop Peter does.  Will the real Peter stand up?  Is he a leader in training, or is he a theological disaster?  Is he a great follower or a great temptation? Is he a good guy or a serious threat to the mission Jesus is on? 

What gives, Peter?  What’s with all the flip flopping?

Just like flip flops allow sand to irritate our feet, Peter’s comment seems to irritate Jesus to the point of name-calling.  Just like flip flops are not good for Alberta winters, Peter’s comments leave Jesus cold.  Just like flip flops are not great for ballerinas trying to swirl like tops, Peter has put his foot in his mouth and doesn’t know which way to turn.

The response, “Get behind me, Satan!” has often been interpreted as a shaming in front of the rest of the disciples.  What if it was different?  What if it is not ‘get out of my way’?  What if it is, “fall in line behind me and listen.”  That puts a completely different spin on what Jesus says, less heated annoyance and more reflection, more thoughtfulness, more invitation to self-examination and self-reflection.  Maybe even a touch of ‘mind your own business’.

The teachings that follow challenge self-centeredness and replaces it with mission.  The world is full of people who know they are right, who are the rule police for a community, a faith group, a family, a town, a culture, a whole country.  We are good at knowing who is wrong and it’s never us.  We fixate on scarcity and hoarding.  We fixate on me first.  Leadership gurus call this “Below the Line” attitudes.  Below the line thinking can be inflexible, certain, and often about controlling others.  It can a form of bullying, where one person wants to have power over others.  It can unconsciously look for ways to be the smartest person in the room.  It is natural, it’s how we survived saber-toothed tigers and stampeding bison.  In the long run, it can leave people cynical, selfish and lonely.  It is an addiction that is just as destructive in its way as illegal drugs.

All addictions are harmful, whether it’s a craving to be the leader like Peter, or gambling or drugs or shopping apps, or food or the determination to be right, or to save for a rainy day that will never come.  I think the addiction to below the line attitudes and thoughts is what Jesus is calling out.  People who put themselves first rather than God get into all kinds of troubles.  That’s why the beginning of 12 step recovery programs is to admit that we are powerless.

Would it surprise you to learn that admitting powerlessness is also the starting point for finding solutions to the world drug problem?  Drug addiction rates are terrible right now, and vary from half a percent of the population in countries like Slovakia and Portugal to 4% of the United States, the worst in the world.  Canada is sitting at about 2%.

The United Nations decided to look at the situation in ways that are above the line.  It researches constantly, does not assume it has the perfect answer for every country, and looks for tangible, measurable results that are showing repeatable significant reduction.  In other words, it keeps an open mind and asks questions.  Some of the things the UN has found is that countries like Portugal who have low addiction rates, focus on harm reduction.  Cold turkey does not work.  Abstinence, while a great goal, is not the starting point, harm reduction is.  The UN found that every individual has had a different path into addiction and will have a different path out.  It recognizes that countries that are most successful look at drug addiction as a healthcare problem.  Countries that start prevention programs in schools around the age of 12, which is when most users start, show significant impact on the number of kids staying clean, succeeding in school and having positive mental health. Family supports are crucial.  Countries that decriminalize the use of drugs and provide healthier, cheaper supplies, disrupt the profit level of organized crime and also noticeably reduce the rate of petty crimes.  That’s why countries like Portugal have had such a drop in addiction rates. The expensive constant medical emergencies and policing actions and court caseloads also drop dramatically with harm reduction programs.

The Un says that the illicit drug trade generates hundreds of billions of dollars per year, though estimates vary.  Drug cultivation, trafficking, and use also impact the environment through deforestation and other land-use change as well as air, land and water pollution.  The cost of failing to tackle drug use disorders is steep – over half a million deaths and 28 million healthy years of life lost due to disability and premature deaths in 2021. Just one in 12 people with drug use disorders received any treatment in 2023.  Our provincial government’s push to have involuntary treatment centres goes directly against the UN’s research because the number one factor for success is for the addict to choose it voluntarily and honestly.  One person told me that treatment only works if it focuses on physical, mental, spiritual and emotional recovery.  Another person said that even after 10 years of sobriety, there isn’t an hour or a day where they do not feel the temptation of escaping the hardships of their life through a needle.

Jesus points to another way.  An above-the-line way.  A way that takes seriously that we can’t escape our painful crosses in life, but neither do we have to bear them alone. Paul‘s words, don’t repay evil with evil, don’t be condescending, don’t seek revenge, are also calls to live above the line.  Feed and love our enemies. Tall order.

How does that look in real life?  I am reminded of a certain 80 year old millionaire who told her neighborhood 12-year-olds that she would give them $500 each if they and their teammate graduated from Grade 12 together.  In that school, the drop-out rate went from 33% to 6%! She gave millions of dollars of books to preschoolers.  She donated money to fund research into the Moderna Covid vaccine.  She spoke out against hatred of the 2sLGTBQIA+ community, saying “it ain’t Christian to hate, we all gotta start loving more instead of all this judging.”  Unlike some millionaire 80 year olds, she didn’t flip flop between love and hate, she didn’t pretend to be a Christian one moment while locking up children the next.  You know who I’m talking about.  She lived a very humble and loving Christian life, above the line, brave and committed and curious, open to learning what she could to help build a more resilient world.  She lived out these values that we read in our scriptures, and she did her best to live one day at a time, caring for her neighbors, and following Jesus.  We can’t have a much better role model for leaving the world a better place than Dolly. May we remember and honor her by doing the same. May we learn to follow Jesus rather than ourselves.  May we remember to ask questions, and may we learn not to flip flop over who is in control.  But to consistently remember the God of Love is the bedrock of our faith.

Finding Rest for the Weary

Isn’t it nice to rest on the Sunday after a busy Canada Day?  Volunteers make a good public holiday a great one, and it seemed that this year it was even more precious to have a peaceful celebration for everyone.  It was lovely to see so many people dressed in red and white and maple leaves. That felt restful too. 

Goodness knows there have been days that were anything but restful.  The manners and politeness between strangers seem to get forgotten in the political noise and strife that fills our conversations, our social media, and our news reports.  There have been discussions and debates that have been anything but restful, and sometimes downright ugly.  People are dug into their positions, and it’s hard to tell where folks stand unless they are sporting hats or t-shirts.  There are people who are losing sleep, tossing and turning about the state of the world.  Now that the letters about ADAP and AISH have been arriving, there are probably people losing sleep about that.  The stories of suffering that will result for some of our vulnerable family and friends who depend on AISH is causing financial stress.  And the industries who most desperately need employees are the construction industry and the restaurant industry.  However, are people put on ADAP likely to become those employees?  Both construction and restaurant are highly physical and need level-headed common sense under pressure.  Nurses and health care professionals also are in high demand, and again, not likely to recruit folks who are on ADAP.  I’m sure some doctors are losing sleep too with everything changing so fast.  In fact, there are probably a lot of people who are stressed out in this world that is facing what some folks are calling a polycrisis.  Impacts on our environment like flooding and heat bubbles, impacts on our economy with tariffs and trade deals, the loss of trust in systems like health inspectors or government agencies that are supposed to protect our data, and sleep may be the scarcest commodity in Alberta right now!

Humanity always has struggled with sleepless nights.  Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, lost sleep when he cheated his brother Esau out of the family business.  His guilty conscience was so intense that he described it like wrestling with an angel all night.  His attempt to reunite with Esau decades later was also another night of anguish.  Jesus, most famously, lost sleep on the last night of his life, scolding his disciples, saying, “could you not keep watch with me for one hour?”  Scripture says his prayers were so agonizing that he sweated tears of blood.  And Pilate’s wife had disturbing dreams and begged her husband not to condemn Jesus to death.

But then there’s Paul.  Doesn’t he sound like his mind was racing at 2 in the morning as he wrote this part of the letter?  He keeps repeating phrases in a different order, “I don’t do what I know is right, what I know is right I don’t do,” and on and on.  Sounds like a typical brain caught in an endless loop of guilt and self-loathing.  It also sounds like he’s struggling with an addiction of some sort, a bad habit, a broken pattern of behavior.

How many of us can relate to poor Paul?  I know the healthy thing I want to do, but I’ll buy that chocolate bar at the gas station even if I just had lunch 20 minutes ago.  Or I’ll reach for one more cigarette even though a carton of smokes costs more than I want to spend.  Or I’ll go into the casino for 5 minutes and stay 5 hours.  Or I’ll just have one beer at my neighbor’s barbecue, it won’t hurt.  Or this time I will keep my temper and not yell at my family members in public.  Or I’ll just watch one more episode on Netflix.  And the next thing we know, we’ve done exactly what we promised ourselves we would not do.  Whether we have a clear addiction to drugs or gambling or promiscuity or a less obvious addiction like being addicted to gossip or yelling or pity parties, it can keep us from having a full and joyful life.  The kind of life that Christ wanted for us, an abundant life free from fear and guilt and jealousy. A life that is not lived like we are prisoners to bad habits and fears.  A life that is not full of resentments and grudges.  A life free from power struggles where we strive to prove that we are right and everyone else is wrong or ignorant or lazy.  A life that does not take pleasure in calling people names like woke or libtard or fascist.  A life that does not lead to depression, resentment and paranoia. 

Paul’s words would not sound out of place in a 12-step recovery program.  Like AA, NA and other support groups, Paul admitted that he was powerless over the bad habits that he wrestled with.  That’s Step 1.  Then he said how he gave thanks that God set him free.  That’s Step 2, believing in a Power that can free us.  Paul then said that he set his mind on serving God instead of himself.  Step 3 says to make a decision to turn our will and lives over to God however we understand God. That sounds what Paul wrote about when he decided to live by God’s way.

When we obsess over other people’s behaviors instead of our own, when we let addictions to anger or self-centeredness or bad habits of body, mind or spirit, we can end up struggling with sleepless nights, broken promises, destructive behaviors.  But when we hear Jesus inviting us to lay our burdens down and sing a new song to God, we will find indeed that Jesus sets us free from all broken ways.  Now, more than ever, may we as Canadians set our ways to ways of peace and love for all our neighbors not just on Canada Day but every day. May it be so for us all. Amen.

The Problem of Hell

Did you know that there are 18 references to Hell in the Bible and 16 of them are in the New Testament?  Heaven, on the other hand, is mentioned 787 times, and is about equally split between the Hebrew and Christian scriptures.  Yet many people today spend far more time thinking about hell than heaven.

In fact, for many people, Christianity has been completely rejected because they have only heard that it’s scary.  God is going to consign them to a fiery eternity of pain and suffering.  Comic books about this punishment for non-believers are available for free and try to convert people to faith.  Fear is preached, the end of the world is predicted as it was this week with another rapture date, and woe to anyone who ignores this message.

The parable Jesus told about Lazarus and the rich man was meant not to scare people away from hell.  The stark contrast between Lazarus and the unnamed rich man and the role reversal it implied was a call to compassion.  That call is a core part of what it means to be the United Church.

Photo: Inaugural Service, 10 June 1925, Mutual Street Arena |Flickr

In 1925, Methodists, Presbyterians, Congregationalists and Union churches came together to build a national faith of justice and compassion, not fear of Hell.  They developed a document of beliefs they could agree on.  It was called the Basis of Union.  Of the twenty statements, the only reference to Hell was Article 19, “Of the Resurrection, the Last Judgement, and the Future Life” where it said that ‘the finally impenitent shall go away into eternal punishment and the righteous into life eternal.” It doesn’t even mention Hell by name, or purgatory or even Satan.  The last statement, Article 20, says that “God will have all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth.  We confidently believe that by His power and grace all His enemies shall finally be overcome, and the kingdoms of this world be made the Kingdom of our God and of His Christ.”

So while tent revivals were happening and people were told about God’s wrath that would punish them with Hell, the United Church was grounding faith in a loving God.  God was seen as compassionate, caring and welcoming all people.  Not a vengeful, angry punisher, rapturing up some while the left behind got punished.  In the book, “The Hell Jesus Never Intended”, Keith Wright says the idea that God condemns us and sentences us to hell, is troubling.  He writes quote:

It’s frightening for many because love that must be bought at the price of a violent death on the Cross hardly sounds like love…the nonviolent God of Jesus becomes a God of unequaled violence, since God not only allegedly demands the blood of the victim who is most precious to him, but holds humanity accountable for a death that God both anticipates and requires… is to paint an awful picture of God, to make God an arbitrary and capricious tyrant.

Given that Jesus taught his disciples to pray using the word ‘Abba’, the Aramaic word for daddy, the idea that God, our loving parent is also fixated on punishing us, stands directly in contrast to God who is the shepherd frantically looking for the lost lamb, the woman seeking high and low for her one missing coin, the mother hen calling her chicks to her, or the Prodigal father, so grateful for his son’s return that he throws his best coat on his son even though the boy is probably coated in pigsty slime!

Since the beginning of the United Church, leaders like our first Moderator George Pigeon, or Louise McKinney from Claresholm Alberta, heard the call not to preach a terrifying God but a reconciling God.  George was the Moderator of the Presbyterian Church in 1924, and a professor who worked hard for union.  He tried to persuade all the Presbyterians to join, but 17% of Presbyterians and 10% of Presbyterian clergy voted against union.  George was voted unanimously to be the head of the new denomination and did his best in the two tumultuous years of his term, to settle the many disagreements, hurt feelings, power struggles and turf wars that resulted.  It was complex and heated, but moments of Grace abounded too.  Presbyterian and Methodist seminaries came together peacefully at most theological colleges, and much to many people’s surprise, Newfoundland, who wasn’t even a part of Canada, had all of its methodist churches originally reject Union, but in 1925 they all joined anyways.  Louise McKinney, one of Alberta’s Famous Five women, who had helped women get the vote in 1918, was one of only 5 ladies out of the 350 delegates at the first worship service.  She and other United Church women addressed the struggles of the poor like Lazarus through the Temperance Movement.  They hoped that prohibition would lower family violence and child poverty.  It was both Pigeon and McKinney’s way of addressing the social injustices they saw in their communities, not realizing that causes of poverty and addiction were far more complex than they originally thought. 

That was also the driving force behind residential schools.  Just as Temperance was a simplistic solution to a complex problem, Residential schools also turned out to be simplistic.  One culture assumed it had the God-given right to impose itself onto another singular culture but what was in fact a broad diversity of cultures, languages and spiritual practices.  One General Council Commissioner in Calgary this summer talked about being sent to the most convenient school rather than the closest one; he spoke Haida Gwaii and ended up in Alberta surrounded by Cree children.

When we assume we know best, when we think we have a guaranteed spot in Heaven, we may end up surprised like the rich man.  When we use fear to teach people about God, we may find history judging us harshly.  When we use this parable to inspire us to act justly, we can find the healing that Jesus wanted for us. When we love God like Abba Daddy the way Jesus taught, we can live bold and courageously like George Pigeon and Louise McKinney.  Like them, we may not be perfect, but we are growing in our love of our neighbors and God.  May it be so for us all.

Feed my Sheep!

 Jesus keeps popping up in the most unlikely places in Easter resurrection stories.  The locked room, the road to Emmaus, the empty tomb, the gathering a week later with our good friend, Doubting Thomas.  Every time, it is unexpected, and it is life changing. 

“Feed my sheep”, Jesus asked Peter, again and again.  Poor Peter felt nagged and pestered.  And no wonder.  He just wanted to spend time with this illusive, here one moment and gone the next Jesus who popped up when Peter least expected him, then would disappear for days and weeks.  Who knew where he would show up next?  Or when or why or how?

And my goodness, he was disruptive when he showed up.  Jesus didn’t let the disciples slip back into the old patterns of behaviors.  Peter and the Zebedee brothers were fishermen before they met Jesus, and went back to their familiar ways.  They went back to what they knew best.  They went back to the life that they had been only too excited to leave.  It can’t have been much of a job and they couldn’t have had much of a passion for it if they were so quick to abandon it the first time.  Jesus didn’t let them stay stuck though, oh no.  Jesus had better things in mind for them all.

I think it’s very natural to go back to comfortable habits when we are stressed.  Teachers and parents often talk about regression of children when they experience challenges.  When a three-year-old gets a baby brother or sister, they will often forget what they have learned and might start sucking their thumbs more or have more temper tantrums.  Older children may cling more to their parents.  At a wedding I did last summer, teachers were telling me that the children were two to three years behind in their maturity levels and social skills because of trauma.  It happens.  During Covid, I found myself turning into a computer game zombie when I wasn’t at work.  I slipped into old habits again, bad ones.  I had to reclaim the positive habits and become very intentional about substituting the good habits for the bad.  It takes a lot of effort and time to get out of our ruts.

Sometimes going back is the only way to go forward.  I remember when my children were going into junior high school, and we needed me to be working.  The idea of going back to work gave me panic attacks because I thought that the only job I would get was flipping burgers at MacDonald's.  It scared me to think about brushing off my old resume.  My stomach was in knots and I didn’t know what to do.  I went to Naramata Centre that summer and took all my fear into it’s labyrinth.  As I walked that big twisty path, I found my shoulders loosened, my thoughts slowed down and I relaxed for the first time in months.  As I reached the centre of the labyrinth, I had a sudden picture in my mind of being in a rollercoaster, at the very top of a tall hill, ready to go down in a steep dive.  And a voice saying, “buckle up, you’re in for a wild ride!”  Not actually a comfortable message as I hate rollercoasters with a passion!  8 months later I was working at City Hall, 2 years after that I was working in a religious bookstore, a year later, I was studying in Halifax to become a minister, and that led me to Athabasca where I still am today.  It has indeed been a wild ride.  Would I have gotten that same sense of calm without walking a labyrinth?  Probably, but labyrinths have been my fishing boat, my ‘go to’ when I’m stuck.

It's like the scene in a favorite movie of mine, the Princess Bride.  Inigo Montoya, the Spanish swordfighter, is separated from Fezzik, the giant strong man, and remembers that if they got separated, they were to go back to where they started.  Inigo returns to the village, is reunited with Fezzik, and they lived happily ever after.

What is your beginning?  What is your labyrinth or fishing boat?  Where did you first have a sense of something greater than yourself, where you found peace or hope?  What sorts of things help you look beyond the addictions we use to fix the stresses of our lives?

In the end, the only question that really matters is the one Jesus asked Peter.  In the Good Friday stories, Peter lied three times.  Jesus questioned him on the shore three times “Do you love me?” and this time Peter told the truth.

Do we love Jesus?  Do we love the healing we have found, the courage we have felt along the path of faith, do we love those moments where the stories of Jesus help us get unstuck?  Do we love working and playing together in this community that is striving to follow Jesus’ footsteps?  Do we hear the call to feed the hungry sheep of our world who are looking for help to break out of their own ruts?  Do we remember making a difference through socks for the homeless, prayer shawls for the heartbroken, coins to heal places like Ukraine, meals to feed the hungry in this town, and building safe spaces where all will feel welcome?  Are we willing to love Jesus and experiment with living out his teachings?  And will we feed his sheep as he has fed us with wine and bread and hope and love?  We can do all this, when we remember that together, we can do and be more than we can as individuals.  When we seek Jesus, when we dare to dream and hope and throw our nets in new directions, we will find Jesus at the lakeshore and be fed by his love and compassion.  May it be so for us all!

You turns - Jacob Part 5

I was travelling down a dirt road last Thursday in a rush to get to the Woodbury farm.  Some of you folks know where that is, a mere 20 minute drive away, across the river past the golf course.  Well, it’s been a few years since I had been there last and Tim was the one who drove out more often.  Anyway, I miscalculated and found the road to be muddy and slick from snow or frost or maybe a combination of both.  And I was not comfortable in driving my tiny car 80 klicks an hour.  The slower I went, the later I got and the more nervous I felt.

Just when I thought my turn-off was close, a pick-up truck whose driver was much more used to country roads than me, came barrelling down the middle, charging straight at me, scattering mud as they approached.  I was so busy trying to make sure I wouldn’t hit the truck or the ditch that I completely missed my turnoff and the next thing I knew, I was at an intersection I had never seen before, and the road ahead was marked with the ominous sign, ‘dead end!

Well, the only sensible thing to do was to pull a u-turn and retrace my steps.  It was closer than I thought and I soon was greeting old friends that I hadn’t seen in far too long!

Sometimes the only way forward is to turn around and go back the way you came.  Jacob was in that exact situation.  He had come to an impasse with Laban; after dashing away with his sheep and his wives, Laban chased him down and accused him of theft and cowardice.  The two men decided that good fences make good neighbours, to erect a stone to remind them on whose side of the border they were on and that the trickery and scams would stop between them.

That still left Jacob with the difficult quandary; where to go from here.  His uncle had scammed him repeatedly and he discovered how much that hurt.  So it was time to make a u-turn and go back to where he had come from.  That was a problem, because while Laban had scammed Jacob of wages, Jacob had scammed Esau of his rights!  Now Jacob could have tried a con, but instead he chose to be honest.  He chose to recognize that he was afraid of Esau and what his brother might do.  And that night he couldn’t sleep.

Tossing and turning about what he might face in the morning.  I imagine there are some lucky folks who never experienced that, but I have never met them.  If you are one of those lucky folks, please come teach me how!  There he was, facing every incident, every conversation he had with his brother, and coming to the realization that only the truth would set him free.  Our scriptures talk about the fruit of the Spirit being love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  One could call that being grown-up, but it is not easy to be all those things when feeling so afraid.

Jacob did what any alcoholic would do who knows their twelve steps.  Confess his life was out of control, ask God for help, then a small but not insignificant step of doing what they call an inventory of themselves, a searching exploration of all the wrongs and hurts they had dealt other people, a deep confession of their failings and shortcomings.  A vigorous wrestling with their conscious, their ego, their need to be right no matter what.  That step, which we practise in part every time we join in saying a confession on a Sunday morning, is the kind of reality check that can leave a man limping for life.  It is a constant reminder that maybe just maybe we could do better by our fellow human beings.  That maybe just maybe the con game when we pretend that we are always in the right and everyone else is wrong is just that, and the only ones we are conning are ourselves.

One psychologist says that there are two kinds of people, wise people and foolish people.  When wise people encounter something difficult, they learn from it.  They hear a truth about the world or themselves and they change because of it.  Foolish people hear a truth and ignore it or pretend it doesn’t apply to them and they don’t learn anything.  They deny, blame, or make excuses for their behaviour.  Of course the reality is that there is only one kind of person.  We are all Jacobs stuck with nights of wrestling with angels of truths.  Sometimes we listen to the angels and grow, and sometimes we ignore the angels and don’t.

I made excuses for being late.  Did you hear them?  I underestimated the time it would take to arrive, I blamed the muddy roads and the speeding truck.  All that could have been avoided if I had made an accurate assessment of the time and the weather.  Sometimes the road is bad, sometimes it’s not.  Will I learn from it, sure hope so.  But the good news is there was love and forgiveness at the end of the journey.  That was what Jacob so dearly needed from the angel.  But he didn’t just get that, he got a whole new identity, wrestling God.  No more heel grabber.  Wrestling God.  Powerful.  Sometimes wrestling with God, sometimes wrestling for God.  And it’s his name that came down the ages and still exists today in a country of independence.  Now that’s change!

Keep Your eye on Jesus.

A few years ago, I was struggling with my faith. I went and talked to a friend who was a chaplain and asked him if it was silly to have faith in these ancient stories that seem far too much like fairy tales to be helpful in this modern scientific world.  He said to me very seriously and straight-faced that there are no atheists in foxholes.  Despite all our technology and know-how, when it gets scary and dangerous, everyone he knew, even tough guys who were prepared for violent stuff in the name of keeping us safe, turned to prayer in hopes that someone or something would hear them.

Joseph was in a foxhole of his own making.  His father Jacob was passing on the family history of bad choices, of playing favorites, and of the twelve brothers, he was the favorite.  It didn’t help that he had three step moms who had all competed for their husband’s affections, and that competition had been passed on to the sons.  If you read the whole story of Jacob and his children, even the boys’ names were reflective of the squabbles and fights between the women.  Sterility was a real issue of faith for Jacob’s wives, like Abraham and Sarah, and Isaac and Rebecca.  Having a baby was a sign of God’s favor so the children were named things like “surely my husband will love me now”, or “God comforts me because I am hated” or “I have wrestled with my sister and have won”.  Can you imagine growing up in such a family?  Talk about ugly dynamics!

So, Joseph, which by the way means either “God has taken away my shame” or “May God give me another son” has grown up in a family of competitiveness and anger.  It must have been ugly and embarrassing .  His mother died giving birth to his full brother, so he had no mother to take care of him.  And Jacob, not remembering, or maybe not thinking of the damage done by his father and mother’s playing favorites with him and Esau, plays favorites again.

How many times do we fall into the unhealthy patterns of our families, saying things that we swore we would never say, hearing ourselves talking like the people who parented us.  Children copy what they see their parents doing.  We know that people who grew up in addicted or violent homes or who are bounced through the foster care system have a much higher chance of being addicted or in jail because of the childhood trauma of a toxic family experience. 

Dr. Gabor Mate, when he gave his talk at the Nancy Applebee theatre last fall, talked about being born during the Second World War to a Jewish mother.  Even though neither of them ended up in a concentration camp, the trauma of having a mother living in a constant state of fear caused Mate to live with a high degree of anxiety that led to some strongly addictive behaviours that while they didn’t revolve around drugs, affected his professionalism and his finances.  Childhood stress like Joseph and his brothers experienced led them into angry confrontations.

Joseph was a bragger and a tattle tale.  He paraded around in his long robe and would tell them of his dreams of glory when the older ones would no longer have the power to bully him.  The brothers had no ‘shalom’ for him and so decided that murder was a perfect solution to the arrogant brat.  That’s chilling to say the least.  They sold him off to become a slave in Egypt.  I wonder what he was thinking when he realized that his spying and tattling had made them that hostile to him.  There’s no record of him being repentant or afraid or ashamed or anything.  But he is in a foxhole and there is no one who will help rescue him from going into slavery in a foreign land.

Peter, in his way, is also in a foxhole.  The sea of Galilee is not terribly wide, but it is chaotic.  Storms come up without warning, and back then there was no such thing as a swimming lesson at the pool in the summer.  Drowning for all the disciples is a real possibility. 

I remember someone in the Maritimes telling me that some sailors deliberately decided not to learn to swim so that if they did get caught in a storm, they would drown more quickly and peacefully.  Fishing was a dreadful job, and water was the most chaotic and dangerous place to be.  This story points to Jesus as the one who can still the chaos and make it possible to get through the most difficult things.  But when Peter takes his eyes off Jesus, he begins to drown.

I meet a lot of people who are in foxholes.  Some of those foxholes are of their own making, some are full of the family toxic stories and experiences that they had witnessed as children.  What is interesting are the folks who are climbing out of the foxholes.  I am starting to see patterns that suggest the ones who will make it out, and the ones who will stay stuck or get even deeper into their foxholes.

The number one factor is humbleness.  Peter doesn’t say, “If you can walk on water, I can too just watch me”.  There’s also a level of trust, “If you tell me to walk to you, I will do what you tell me.” And when he keeps his eyes on Jesus, he can make it.  He needs to remember to trust and watch Jesus.  When tragedy strikes, how many of us think we will go it alone, tough it out, pull ourselves out by our own bootstraps? But again and again, we find that its when we reach out for help, asking Jesus to be present in the midst of our foxholes, that we find new hope, new beginnings and a more godly, more shalom-filled way of life that fills, sustains and supports us on this journey we call life.