Too big and you would end up suspended up in the air,
looking a little silly, and not able to pull your weight in the game of up and
down. Too small and you would end up on
the ground and the other person would be the one looking silly. Then there were
the extra long teetertotters that could accommodate more than one rider. We didn’t know we were learning physics or
even math in trying to end up with balanced sides. And wasn’t it wonderful to have a kind teen
or adult that would be at one end who could bring us up and down
single-handedly? Teamwork, co-operation,
equality and trust were all required. I
remember feeling sad when I got to be too big for my dad to single-handedly lift
me on the teetertotter, but by then he was introducing me to the mysteries of
catching a ball in a big leather glove.
Teetertotters are often how we view our relationships
with others. Are we on top? Are we higher than everyone else? Who has got the power? Anti-bullying
educators talk a lot about power and how there are a lot of people striving to
have power over other people. And
there are a lot of people who are in situations where they feel like they have
no power and feel bullied and depressed.
We know of children who die by suicide because the only power they feel
they have left is the power to take their own lives. Anorexia can be an attempt to find power and talking
to addicts and alcoholics I hear the same kind of language, “no one is going to
tell me what to do!” There was a story
this week of a Calgary Heart Surgeon who is retiring and has filed a complaint
against Alberta Health Services. Why the complaint and why only once retirement is happening? Well, she is the only female heart
surgeon in Alberta, and has faced microaggressions, gender bias and outright
discrimination throughout her career simply because of her sexuality. No wonder other female doctors are avoiding
becoming heart surgeons!
It's easy to blame toxic masculinity for the
competition over power that some say has been with us since the overthrow of
mother goddess worship in ancient Europe.
Jean M. Auel, author of the Clan of the Cave Bear series, hypothesized
that once men realized that they had something to do with the babies being born
by women of the tribes, they became possessive and controlling over who had
access to the women. But I think it’s
even more universal than that. Women can
be just as invested in the battle for power, and the worst bullies I had as a
child were the girls who made some pretty cruel comments, or even worse, jumped
off the bottom of the teetertotter when I was up high in the air. I came crashing down, bruising my ego and my
trust as well as my tailbone.
Toxic lust for power can be seen everywhere we
look. It’s at the heart of the invasion
of Ukraine and the January 6 insurrection at the White House, and the Ottawa
Convoy where protestors made noise and garbage for over three weeks. It’s at the heart of the current run for
party leadership of the United Conservatives in Alberta. It’s at the heart of family violence, abusive
relationships, racism and homophobia. It
is even at the heart of how we talk about the homeless in our community in
Athabasca.
We want power over because we want to feel safe, to
feel in control, to feel competent or important. And we have historically done whatever we
could to feel that power. We put people
like my great-grandmother in Bedlam under horrific conditions or locked them in
chains in a graveyard to deal with their chaotic mental illness. Is there a better, more humane way in which
to address this toxic culture we live in?
Some folks have traditionally thought all that was
needed would be to give power to the powerless, to give guns to victims or
karate lessons to scrawny children. Give
a radioactive spider bite to a weak teenager, or a magic wand to a boy forced
to live in a closet under the stairs.
From Spiderman to Karate Kid, the theory has been to give power to
victims and that will fix society.
However, studies of bullying in classrooms show that when a bully and a
victim are separated without any other interventions, the bully quickly finds
another victim, but surprisingly the victim will often find another kid to
become a bully! Or the victim becomes a
bully themselves, taking a turn on the teetertotter.
Jesus sidestepped the power over-power under
teetertotter completely and frequently.
It’s seen very clearly in his approach to the Gerasene. He didn’t
respond by bullying, putting more chains on the man, or responding like a
victim, reacting with fear. He connected
with engagement and respect. With
questions to learn more. And with
authority and confidence. But not with
intimidating, controlling, blaming or shaming.
And he rid the man of the power that was bullying him, driving him to
drastic behaviors.
When people say that the world does not change, they
are wrong. I drove around Athabasca
looking for a teetertotter in a playground and couldn’t find a single one at
WHIPS, LTIS or the riverfront. The world
changes. We can change too. We may not send demons out of people as
dramatically as Jesus did. But we can
face our own inner demons, the urges that demand we grab power over, or even
the fears of being dominated by others power, and claim our identity as
children of God who called to be freed from the tyranny of our own bullying and
victim urges. We can become sensitive to
power dynamics at the root of sexism, toxic masculinity, racism and
homophobia. We can be healed and healer,
committed to balancing the teetertotter of power with everyone we meet. We do this with God’s grace and love; knowing
that healing is real, change is possible and new life in Christ will make the
world a better place for all!
