Kumbaya Oh Lord!

I remember learning to sing Kumbaya in school and at camp, and it was simple, fun, and open to as many verses as we could come up with. But over the years, Kumbaya has become a symbol of shallow togetherness, artificial peace and pretend harmony.  Everyone gathered around the campfire singing of simple times and not really knowing what the song is about.

So Kumbaya, for better or worse, has gotten a bad rap over the last 10 or 20 years.  And I’d bet that Peter was thinking his time of discipleship with Jesus would be one long singalong campfire joyful healing experience as Jesus and the disciples wandered around from one town to another getting rave reviews and growing their numbers.

Jesus had other ideas and clearly articulated them to his disciples.  That’s when Peter lost it.  He jumped up, pulled Jesus aside and accused him of messing with the mood, of being a Debbie Downer instead of a ra ra leader.

Which led to conflict and what we call ‘a teachable moment’.

Conflict is not a pleasant thing at the best of times.  It leaves us feeling unsettled, squeamish and upset.  I remember when I was little hiding under the sofa with my hands clamped over my ears when my parents had arguments.  But surprisingly, when two ministers of the United Church took a sabbatical in 2019 to study thriving congregations, they found that thriving congregations were not ones of no conflict, singing Kumbaya around the campfire, but ones that did have conflict.  So many congregations, especially since the big splits in the 1980’s and 90’s.  They worry about losing members because of differing opinions.  They avoid conflict at all costs and unfortunately that can cost their ability to thrive and be healthy.

Now I’m not saying that a healthy congregation pulls out the boxing gloves and lets people take a piece out of each other until everyone’s rage is spent, but conflict can be done in loving and respectful ways.  If we try to cover up the rubbing points, it can be like blocking up the spout of a kettle that’s plugged in.  When the water reaches boiling temperature, there’s no where for the steam to go and the kettle explodes.  But if we can be open to communicating that we’re feeling a little hot, we can unplug our kettles before we boil over, and that is what leads to healthier, thriving congregations.

How do thriving congregations handle conflict?  Well, going back to the Mark passage, we see some things that Peter gets right and Jesus gets right, and some things Peter gets wrong and even Jesus messes up.  Who wins in this ancient boxing match?

Jesus states his mission and his values, his goals and his objectives clearly and articulately.  Point to Jesus.  He does so openly to the whole group, no secrets or side conversations.  Another point.

Peter hears something that bothers him, and he decides to talk to Jesus directly.  He doesn’t start rumors or complain to the other disciples behind Jesus’ back, or even stomp off in disgust, which is the equivalent of the kettle blowing up.  He decides to talk to Jesus about it.  That’s a point for Peter.

Peter then pulls Jesus aside and speaks to him quietly, not in public, another point for Peter.  When we correct people in public, especially if that’s the only thing that we do, we are shaming and embarrassing them.  That is not respectful or loving.  So far it’s a tie, Jesus 2 points, Peter 2 points.

But then it goes off the rails into a full-out yelling match.

Peter assumes that he knows what’s best for the group.  Bring out the guitars, he tells Jesus, let’s make this a happy sing along, enough with the gloom and doom.  Peter is not the slightest bit curious as to why Jesus would say what he said.  Peter is not interested in building understanding, only in pushing his agenda.  He loses a point for this. Peter 1, Jesus 2.

Jesus gets mad and lets ‘er rip!  He resorts to name calling, my favorite version is in King James, “Get Thee Behind Me Satan!” So often we see folks resorting to name calling instead of discussing facts.  I certainly see that a lot on the internet.  Labelling is a losing argument.  Jesus loses a point.  Still tied but now it’s 1 point each.

Then Jesus scores two more decisive points.  He gathers everyone together and doesn’t say “Well Peter, you smell like fish, and your fingernails are dirty.  Trim your beard and wash your sailor’s shirt.”  No shaming or blaming here.  Jesus 2 Peter 1.

And Jesus gets the second point by restating and rearticulating his vision and mission.  “It’s not about your comfort or your fame or your happiness.  It’s about the good news of God coming and being here and now for everyone not just the entitled.”  Jesus 3, Peter 1

Peter gains points to finish the match.  He sticks around to listen, he doesn’t stomp off saying “I quit”.  And he really thinks about it.  Tie game.  Or as conflict experts say, “Win win”.  No back stabbing, no gossiping, no nitpicking.  He buys in to the mission and ministry.  He buys into the message.

And what is that message?  That God is coming in the midst of our fears, our loneliness, our isolation, our frustration, our despair.  That the prayer of African American slaves as they were beaten would be heard.  They cried out “Come by here my Lord, Come by here”, “Someone’s praying Lord, come by here”, desperate prayers for freedom, prayers for courage in the face of the Ku Klux Klan carrying torches, and they found the strength and courage to travel all the way here despite such terrible treatment, to make lives for themselves and their children free of slavery and injustice.

Now more than ever we too live in times where courage and strength are needed.  We live in times where Kumbaya is more than a campfire song.  And we live in the knowledge that God is with us, we are not alone, thanks be to God!