Favoritism

Favoritism seems to be an inescapable part of human nature.  Last week we heard about how God favored Abel’s offerings over Cain’s, and Cain murdered Abel because of that favoritism.  Today, we have an uncomfortable story about even Jesus, our role model and our teacher, playing favorites.  Not only that, he calls a woman a dog.  That is as offensive today as it was back then.  Why?  Because of her ethnicity.  He judged her because of her race, and this lady wasn’t good enough.  Jesus was playing favorites.

How many times have we been the favorite?  How many times were we singled out as not being the favorite?  How many times have we shown favoritism towards someone over someone else? 

Even God seems to show favoritism from time to time, especially when it comes to the Hebrew people.   Malachi 1 has the famous quote that was turned into a novel about twins and favoritism, “Yawheh says, Yet I have loved Jacob but I have hated Esau;”

It’s hard not to show favoritism.  One of the hardest jobs as a parent is doing our best to be impartial, not favoring one child over another.  Even with the best of intentions, it can still be difficult.  One of the saddest funerals I ever presided over was a twin who had died in a car crash.  She was part of a big family, and one of the younger children.  The family was so large that she was given away at birth to another family, and that act shaped her in desperate ways.  That led to complicated grief all because of what was perceived by some as good intentions but by others as favoritism.

It’s easy to play favorites by judging appearances, or by how articulate someone is.  My grandfather, who was a travelling salesman, used to tell us that the best way to judge a person’s character was from how shiny their shoes were and how clean their fingernails were.  Again, that’s natural.  So natural, James warned his people some 2000 years ago not to do that.

That’s easier said than done.  How do we do that?  As a congregation! When we practice the commandment of “love your neighbor as yourself”, we are countering the addiction to favoritism by replacing it with the ancient art of hospitality.  Parking Palmer describes it in more modern language, calling it “giving and receiving welcome.” He says “People learn best in hospitable spaces… we support each other’s learning by giving and receiving hospitality.”

We have been hospitable in many ways.  Every time we have a guest speaker who has experienced the hurt of favoritism and discrimination, they feel welcomed and supported.  People like Thom’s choir, Phyllis when she talked about Truth and Reconciliation, Debbie with her stories of rejection by churches, and Gill remembering Amber Valley settlers.  Taking prayer shawls to the Chinese restaurants and hotel families for Asian History month.  Cooking meals for the community.  Putting a rainbow flag in our window. Holding forums on wills, estates and legacy planning.  Hosting educational events for LGTBQ and their allies.  Working with PRAAC to put in place funding and programs to tackle family violence.  Providing food, clothes and counselling for homeless people struggling with a variety of issues.  Teaching cooking lessons to low-income parents and Blue Heron members and so much more.

There’s one act of hospitality that particularly stands out in my mind.  A few years back, we had several people in town ask what we the United Church were going to do about Syrian refugees.  I went to the interfaith refugee committee to ask what they were planning and heard one person say that they didn’t think it was wise to bring Muslim people into Athabasca where we only had Christians.  They wanted to bring people in who might join their churches, and they also said they wanted to bring in refugees that were not getting attention from the media, which was a good reason.  But Syrians?

Syrians like the lady Jesus talked to in our scripture reading today, who said even the dogs deserved to eat the crumbs that fall off the dinner table.  Syrians who wanted a chance to bring up their families away from tanks, bullets and bombs.  With the invaluable partnership of St. Andrew’s Zion Church in Collinton, we brought not one or two but eight people to Athabasca, Christians and Muslims alike, and taught them how to survive Canadian winters.  We bought thousands of dollars worth of gift cards to raise money for dentist bills and school clothes, for laptops and education.  One family we brought, the Halawas, are applying for Canadian Citizenship this month, the girls are planning to study nursing and pharmacy, the son is growing up and graduating from high school and hoping to become a police officer or mechanic.  The oldest girl is now married to a husband she picked of her own free will and is very happy.  Everyone is working on driver’s licences and English is no longer a struggle for most of them.  They have jobs and they are thriving.  Why? Because Jesus heard the Syrophoenician woman’s challenge.  He let her disturb him to the point that Jesus changed his mind.  Because of her challenge, her descendants, thousands of years later, found a welcome here among us.  Because Jesus acknowledged her humanity, we too acknowledge the humanity of everyone we meet.  When we turn away from playing favorites and choose instead to empower, engage and inspire the people we meet through giving and receiving radical welcome and hospitality, we bring God’s healing into this troubled world.  May we continue to inspire and welcome those without favoritism.  Amen!