Or maybe the glimpse of an idea that surprised you, or a daydream over a cup of coffee? I imagine that’s what Isaiah was experiencing when in the middle of the church service, the sermon and incense was putting him to sleep. He had a daydream, a vision that would have made Stephen Spielberg or George Lucas or Peter Jackson green with envy. Winged creatures, not quite angels, and definitely not human. And a God that is so big, just the hem of God’s robe filled the whole temple. Even Kate Middleton’s train on her wedding dress was not long enough to do that. And the temple is tended by seraphim, odd looking creatures with many wings. Some biblical scholars remind us that the word seraph comes from the Hebrew root word for snake, sarap, like the word Serpent, so maybe Isaiah was foreseeing an episode of Game of Thrones with flying dragons, snake-like creatures covered in feathers? Either way, Isaiah was confused, overwhelmed and astonished at the sight of so much bewildering imagery, the immensity of his God experience that day. And he was in despair. Who could look at such a vision without recognizing that they were not worthy for such a thing? Isaiah experienced profound doubt and shame being in the presence of the Holy. How could he see this when he was so flawed and uncertain, so acutely aware of his imperfections and his faults? In other words, he was human and he struggled with imposter syndrome. And he was in deep pain. Woe is me, I am lost and live with people who are lost like me, in a world that is imperfect.
Can you relate? How many of you are feeling lost? How many of you struggled with flashbacks when you heard that once again you might evacuate? How many of you looked around your homes wondering what to pack, what to leave behind? How many of you waited for that call, that knock on the door? How many of you felt a lump in your throats or a tightened stomach at the thought of that long drive? I can’t begin to imagine reliving that potential trauma.
There are times when we find ourselves up against things over which we have no control. Fires, floods, viruses and bacteria can disrupt our lives in unexplained ways. We don’t know where to turn, how to respond, where we can go when we feel at a loss. One of the hardest things to admit to ourselves is that we are not God. Despite our best efforts, things happen. We come to realize that we are not God, and that we don’t always know what’s best. We say, “Oh Woe is me, I am lost. I am not God and God is more than I can logically understand. How can I be in the presence of the Holy?”
That is the question for us frail humans. We are not God, we are not perfect or pure or almighty. We have flaws, we make mistakes, we have failures from time to time. We get hurt, and sometimes we hurt others. How can we approach God?
Isaiah showed us how. Just like an AA meeting, he named his vulnerability, and his flaws. He recognized and confessed his pain. “Hi, I’m Isaiah, and I’m a broken, imperfect human.” And just like in AA, he found himself freed from all that self-centred concern and angst. Just like in AA, he found himself accepted just as he was. Just like in AA, he turned his life over and found he had a clean slate, not from any action he had taken, but by the action of God through the strange beings that worshiped God, saying Holy, holy holy. And just like in AA, he found that he was called to help and serve others. By being honest and vulnerable in front of the holy mystery that was above and beyond perfect description, he found healing and a new purpose. Which is what Jesus may have been getting at when he was talking to Nicodemus. Nicodemus was a man of high standing and influence in his community. He was a public figure. He had a lot of power and authority, and yet he was troubled and uncertain. He came to Jesus for answers and Jesus searched for a metaphor that Nicodemus would understand. Both scriptures point to the same thing. That the Holy is hard to approach when we are in pain or in trouble, but the Holy is always full of grace and healing for us. And when we are ready to be as vulnerable as a child, as truthful and honest as Isaiah, we will be approached by God’s healing, purifying love. It may burn and hurt like a red-hot coal to our lips, but it leaves us able to say, “Send me!” with joy and enthusiasm.
Our Song of Faith describes God in ways that Isaiah would have loved:
God is Holy Mystery, beyond complete knowledge, above perfect description.
Yet, in love, the
one eternal God seeks relationship.
So God creates
the universe and with it the possibility of being and relating.
God tends the
universe, mending the broken and reconciling the estranged.
God enlivens
the universe, guiding all things toward harmony with their Source.
With the
Church through the ages, we speak of God as one and three:
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We also speak of God as Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer, God, Christ, and Spirit, Mother, Friend, and Comforter, Source of Life, Living Word, and Bond of Love, and in other ways that speak faithfully of the One on whom our hearts rely, the fully shared life at the heart of the universe.
May we have the courage to be vulnerable to the Holy Mystery, and may we find deep healing and purpose in God’s loving action. Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment