Deep, Bold and Daring Conversations

What kinds of conversations happen in the middle of the night?  Usually secret ones.  Ones that we don’t want the public to know about, ones that may be completely innocent, and ones that may be deeply evil. 

When I wake up to headlines about war and assassination and leaders of countries being bombed, I wonder about the secret conversations that happen behind closed doors in the middle of the night.  Orders given, decisions made, and worst of all, accountability ignored, compassion sneered at, human rights completely disregarded.  It is deeply disturbing that two men, having most of the world’s military power, made a decision that impacts the whole world.  Where is the accountability?  Why do they think they are entitled to take over countries and send the world in a tizzy?  Why do they want to start another world war? 

Today’s scripture reading shows a conversation that didn’t start a war, for all it happened in the night and not in public.  Was Nicodemus sneaking off to talk to Jesus secretly, or was it one of those, “gosh, look at the time” conversations?  We do know that Nicodemus was really struggling to understand Jesus.  He wanted things to be practical and easy to understand.  Jesus was talking in metaphor.

Nicodemus struggled to understand what Jesus was trying to explain to him.  Not just the whole “being born of the Spirit” but all that Jesus was teaching.  The way of compassion, empathy and spirituality.  This way that the United Church has described as “deep spirituality, bold discipleship and daring justice” was not something Nicodemus was comfortable with.  He had heard Jesus talk in scathing terms about Pharisees like Nicodemus. Jesus thought the pharisees who were more concerned about what people thought about them than what God thought, were hypocrites.  The leaders that Jesus challenged liked having a clear rule book of what would bring them closer to God and what would pull them away from God.  Rules were easy to follow on a surface level.  Jesus wanted them to explore at a deeper level what a relationship with God could be like.

For Jesus, a life of faith was centered around loving God, and loving neighbor.  This wasn’t a matter of nice stories or poetic prayers. It wasn’t about compartmentalizing what we believe on Sunday mornings and what we do on Monday mornings.  This wasn’t a conversation that was a fun little exercise in debating skills, but a call to reexamine our lives and our priorities.

It was about what we do in public.  It was about how we live out our God-shaped priorities.  It’s about when do we make a stand, when do we act? When do we make a commitment to empathy, compassion and justice?

Jesus wanted people to live deep bold and daring lives, not secretive ones.  He wanted people to have deep, bold and daring conversations about their faith and their relationship with God.  All too often, we’ve seen how that has been done in abusive ways.  In ways that are more like the Pharisees than Jesus.  Especially now, when Christian Nationalism seems to be the only game in town.  When John 3:16 is used to shame and blame people for not having a deep enough faith.  When conversations are not dialogues where people actually listen to each other’s opinions and try hard to understand them, but monologues spouting whatever conspiracy theory happens to be most popular on social media.

Nicodemus was very brave, even though he came in the dark.  But Jesus called him to live a more honest and open life.  A life of secrecy can cause tremendous harm and stress.  In modern business lingo, it is ‘living below the line’.  Below the line attitudes are like thinking, “I’m right, I will reject new ideas, I’m reacting emotionally, I’m resisting.”  Nicodemus was resisting what Jesus was trying to teach him.   He didn’t like the new idea of being born into a spiritual way of being.  He didn’t want to look at his theology as something to be lived, not just thought about.  But somewhere during that conversation, some time during that long night, something Jesus said made sense.  And his words still resonate today:

“This is the crisis we’re in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won’t come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is.”

This Lent, we can see on the world stage what happens when world leaders become addicted to practicing evil, addicted to denial and illusion.  It’s easy to point fingers at them for their behaviors that are leading us into another war.  But we can’t control the men who order armies around.  We can only change ourselves.  Nicodemus was changed by his conversation.  He became public in his exploration of what Jesus was teaching.  He became accountable for his actions, standing up for Jesus to the other Pharisees, and eventually publicly burying Jesus in his own family tomb. This Lent, let us give up living in secret, hiding our lights, being addicted to being right, avoiding hard conversations and being stuck in denials and lies.  Instead, let us remember that God loves us as we are and wants us to live lives that are deep, bold and daring, for the world needs more transparency, more love and more hope.  Let us also remember that when we choose to live deep, bold and daring lives, we will find that we are not alone, we live in God’s world, in life, in death, in life beyond death, thanks be to God. Amen!