Be Brave

So I was going to a party last night and facing an age old dilemma.  When to show up?

Sure the invitation said that the party started at 5 pm, but we all know that 5 can often mean, “that’s when I hope to have all my work in the kitchen complete so I can take off the apron and socialize.” But there’s an unspoken code that one should never arrive right on time or even, heaven forbid, a little early.  “Fashionably late” was the catchphrase I remember hearing when I was growing up.  But how late is too late?  I had a friend who was so well-known for being late that we would tell everyone but her that the party started at 6, and tell her that it started at 5, thus guaranteeing she would arrive at 7 pm, slightly more than fashionably late but not too bad.  Tell her it was at 6 and she would arrive after the main course was cold, bringing an appetizer dish, and surprised to see people starting to leave. 

Which if you are highly anxious and slightly socially awkward is not a bad strategy.  Instead of a roaring party of thirty or 40, arriving unfashionably late instead means a quiet group of maybe 8-10 introspective folks pleasantly tired out from all the noise and bustle. 

Then there’s the perennial question when you go to a party of what to wear and what to bring.  When they say that you should bring yourself, do you believe that or do the socially appropriate bottle of wine only to find they have a palette for only French or Spanish and California just won’t cut it.  Blue jeans? Kilt? Sweatpants?  For some folks, this is nothing to lose sleep about, but for others, it is the source of much anxiety and stress.

Some people love hosting parties, planning menus, surrounding themselves with friends and family.  But they might be worried about which way the Dow Jones is going or getting an infection from some well-meaning person who has a cold. 

Some may have a fear of spiders or be nervous about large crowds or about being alone.  Some may studiously avoid all kinds of things because of their fears, and others might keep themselves so busy that they never have time to stop and think about what they are afraid of.

Some might be afraid of what others will think and do their best to be appropriate in all situations.  Others might not even be able to articulate what they are afraid of, but just know that they are afraid.  And many are really afraid of leadership.

So many times I have done a speech or made a presentation or given a sermon or read scripture and had people come up to me and say, “I could never do that, I’m too afraid.”

If only they knew.  You see, no one I’ve ever talked to who does what I do are doing it because we are totally brave and fearless.  No, the secret to doing brave, leaderlike things is to do it despite the fear.  If I had waited until I was fearless, I would still be a stay-at-home mom drinking hot chocolate and reading books.  Even Broadway actors say that the day they stop feeling the butterflies in their stomach, that’s the day they need to leave the stage because they have stopped respecting the audience.  Famous people, folks like Dame Maggie Smith are afraid to watch their movies and television shows because they are so critical of themselves, and so afraid of the reactions of others.

The only difference between people whom we think of as brave and people like us who are afraid is that the brave folks look their fear straight in the eye and say, “I’m going to do this anyway.  This is so important to me that I’m not going to let you stop me.”  It’s how we were inspired as a nation to block Hitler’s attempt to take over the world.  It’s how we stood up to people in this province who wanted to chisel away at public healthcare. 

We showed up on the steps of the legislature and pounded our drums to declare that humans had the right to be treated equally and with dignity.  We signed petitions and showed our support of the importance of human rights for all regardless of where they came from, what they looked like or who they fell in love with.  And we must continue to do so.

Christian leaders look at the big picture of what we are called by God to do.  We want to make the world a little more like heaven on earth for everyone.  We want to help people shine like the lights they are supposed to be.  We want to bring God’s dream of justice and peace for all to this world.

Christian leaders also look inside.  Am I doing what is in the best interests of others?  Where am I reacting out of fear and where am I acting from a God-centered place of calm and peace?  We are, like the Psalmist, constantly going back to our faith.  God is our light and our salvation, how can we be afraid?  When we look at our motivations and actions by the light of God, we can then make good healthy decisions for the whole of the community.  Jesus did not call religious experts, lawyers and politicians into following him, he called fishermen covered in slime with rope burns on their hands and dirt under their fingernails.  He called them into leadership roles, even though they did not know it at the time.  He called them into a new way of being community, a new way of living in the world.  It would have been scary, but they came and followed anyway.  What are you being called to do?  What kind of leader is God training you to be?  Know that when you wait for God, you will find courage, and see God’s goodness here on earth.  May it be so for us all!

Empowered leadership

Did you know that the baptism of Jesus is one of the few power stories that are in all four of the Gospels?  Matthew has the longest version, Mark, Luke and even that wild gospel John has it.  To put this into context, Matthew is the only gospel with the Magi bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh, Luke is the only gospel with the manger and shepherds, Mark and John skip Bethlehem altogether but all four have an account of this meeting of Jesus and John.  The gospel of Matthew has John asking the question that has stumped many theologians ever since, why did Jesus come to be baptised by John?  John recognized that Jesus was able to do more than he could.  John baptised with water, Jesus would baptise with the Spirit.

Two great men, two great passionate believers in God’s mission and God’s message.  Two powerful speakers who knew how to talk so people would listen, and even more importantly, so that people would act.  That lives would be changed not just in little ways, but in ways that would have everyone believing that the Community of God was at hand, and that this meeting could and did change the course of history.

What was powerful in this encounter between these two strong leaders is the gentleness and graciousness in which they met each other.  As Robbie and Marilyn showed us, they chose humbleness, and even more than humbleness, they recognized each other’s leadership, and get this!  They refused to take the other’s leadership away from them.

John said in fact, wait a minute, Jesus, you are my leader.  And Jesus said, we lead together as God sees appropriate.

Wow.  Can you imagine if the President of the United States and the President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani, sat down with a similar attitude?  Well, we lead our countries together and I respect your leadership.  Wouldn’t that be a world-changing event?  Certainly it was here. 

How can we become more like them?  I have said that my goal these next few months leading up to my sabbatical is to creatively empower God-centred leaders.  That is easy to say, but not so easy to do of course.  Leadership is not just for the person who wears the robes and it doesn’t happen just in the pulpit.  It happens in your homes, at the curling league or the classroom, the hockey rink and the knitting group.  It happens at Rotary club or Lions or Toastmasters or at the Whispering Hills Country jam session.  It happens at the library, the swimming pool, PVL, the community band and Heartwood concerts.

It happens every time we encounter another human being and choose to recognize and respect their leadership.  You see, John could have responded to Jesus in one of two very typical ways.  He could have said, “Push off, You!  Find yourself another River!  Find yourself another ritual than water.  Go get people to have a dust bath or enter a monastery or fast in the wilderness.  I don’t care what you do, just do it elsewhere!  This is my turf and who do you think you are, muscling in on my act!  I’m the boss here, what I say goes, and you just need to either be one of my followers or get out of my hair.”  Such arrogance can lead to isolation and loneliness.

Psychologists like Terry Real call this aggrandization.  It’s when someone is sure they are better than everyone else, and they will tell them this too.  They don’t care who they step on or how they hurt others.  We all know leaders who are accused of this, and we all like to point fingers at people who we think are aggrandized, “oh look at them swaggering around, who do they think they are, they are no better than the rest of us”.  And boy do we like it when they fall from grace.  Politicians know that when they run for the highest role, president or prime minister, they won’t last as the head of their party for long if they lose.

The other response John could have had when he saw Jesus, is he could have gotten firmly stuck in the ‘I’m not worthy to untie his sandals’ bit.  “Oh me, I’m not good enough, I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead, I’m a terrible person, yada yada yada.”  What Terry Real calls shame.  It can lead to depression, addictions and worse.

A third response to someone’s leadership is to flip flop between grandiosity, ‘you’re not good enough’ and shame ‘I’m not good enough’.  The faster and the harder we flip between these two extremes, the more damage we can do to relationships and our own mental health.

One word that sums this up is contempt.  Having Contempt for others leads to grandiosity.  Having contempt for ourselves leads to shame.  Contempt is not a healthy approach and does not lead to a changed world.  Jesus and John model a different approach, one that pulls away from the flip flop of emotional reaction, and nurtures healthy leadership.  That approach is respect.  John deeply respects the call Jesus has, and Jesus respects John’s role in calling people to account for their actions.

If we struggle with grandiosity, it’s time to look for things we can respect in the people around us.  If we struggle with shame, we need to remember things we can respect about ourselves.  Make a list.  Record what you notice.  And remember, it’s always about love.  Love yourself, love others, love God.  Loving God breaks us out of our flip-flops, our defensiveness, and our arrogance.  When we practise loving ourselves and one another, God sends down a dove and says, ‘these are my beloved children with whom I am well pleased.  Love is what empowers our leadership and our lives.  God’s love for us, and our love for God and each other.  May it be so for us all!

Luke Skywalker and the Magi

Did you know that the story of Luke Skywalker has a lot of parallels with the Story of the Magi?  It’s not that big of a stretch, and it is an adventure story for both the Star Wars movies and the Matthew passage.

Both Luke and the Magi are travelling for a higher purpose.  The Magi are looking for a new hope, a prince, and Luke is looking to find adventure and freedom and to rescue a princess.  Lofty goals.

Both encounter a leader of people who is out of control.  Luke faces the Emperor Palpatine, master of the Dark Side of the Force who is determined to control the whole universe and use his power to set in place a reign of terror where no one will be able to have any kind of freedom.

The Magi face Herod the Great.  He’s known as a tyrant who liked taxing his people heavily so he could construct massive buildings as a sign of how glorious and important he was.  He may not have been able to build a Death Star or massive star destroyer ships, but he would probably have wanted to if he had the technology.  Herod also practised his Jewish faith in a way that would be manipulative or impressive, not unlike Palpatine’s use of the force.  He was a con man who liked to hobnob with people like Julius Caesar, or Cleopatra which got him into hot water with Augustus and he had to do a lot of grovelling to get into that emperor’s good books.

Palpatine manipulates political friends and foes very deftly, and is not afraid to hurt people along the way.  He isn’t above killing off family members to get what he wants when it suits him.  In fact that is another parallel between him and Herod.  Herod’s historians don’t have a record of him ordering the killing of baby boys, but they do have records of him killing his sons and wife when he felt threatened by their rise in popularity or influence.  Both Palpatine and Herod seemed invincible.  Both make for excellent villains.

Then there are the heroes.  Luke Skywalker, innocent farm boy, honest, caring about his family and friends.  The Magi, a group of people bound together because of shared principles and values.  Both willing to travel to strange places and meet strange people as they journeyed to a lofty and life-giving goal.  They all found more than they expected.  Luke found his princess in a jail cell and his wisdom from an ancient, shrivelled old creature barely as tall as his knee.  The Magi found their prince in an insignificant town off the beaten track, born to poor people who would become refugees.

It’s not a perfect analogy of course, but it reminds us of our own human story.  Our struggle to know where to look for purpose, vision and wisdom.  There are times we think we might find that meaning in grand adventures, so we travel to far away places and come home hopefully a little wiser.  We must make tough choices – do we trust the powerful king in his palace or the tiny blinking star that has led us on what some call a wild goose chase?  Do we trust an old hermit in a desert or the Corellian spice smuggler in a dilapidated spaceship?

Either way we choose what direction to take and what will guide us on our way.  In the end, it becomes a simple decision – will we follow the star to a leader who inspires us to become more loving and justice – seeking, or will we grab for power and control until we might hurt the ones that are closest to us?

One kind of leadership, Ben Kenobi’s and Jesus’, actually empower us to become loving compassionate leaders ourselves.  The other kind, the Herod and Palpatine kind of leadership wants to disempower everyone and keep all the power for themselves.

This year my goal for my sabbatical preparations is to do my best to empower you to become empowering leaders both here in this church and in your families and your community.  Empowering leadership is not easy and is not for the faint of heart.  It takes brave heroes to give away power, to nurture the leadership of others, to help people see themselves as heroes, and to steer away from the intoxication of becoming a villain.  It’s easy to become a villain, to take the short cuts, to act on impulse without thinking things through, to do whatever you want regardless of what impact it might have on others, to make the choice that brings short-term gain.  It’s hard to become a Skywalker Magi who must leave the known for the unknown, to question their assumptions and remind themselves what they are looking for, and why they came searching after knowledge.

The magi returned home to share their wisdom and experiences with their community.  Luke eventually taught what he knew to others to build a more just society.  We too are called to become Magi Skywalkers and stargazers, hopers and dreamers.  Let us work together to find a path into hope.  Let us find ways to address the tyrants in our lives, especially when those tyrants are ourselves.  And as we keep focussed on the Star of Bethlehem, may we find our way to building a better world for all where we all know that God is with us, always!